After I had the vision in the night, I began to feel as though I was falling away from myself. Something had changed in my heart and mind. It seemed as though I was losing grip on the reality of the world as I had known it. What was once important and worth doing, no longer seemed to matter. Everything that I had seen as worth having was losing its lure over me somehow.
Time went by, and I found myself back at the place where I had met the Lord in my first vision. This time I was in deep prayer with my sins before me, and I began to seek the Lord again.
In the darkness, I again bowed before the Lord and called upon His name, not knowing if He would come to me again. I had thought to myself many times since the first vision, “Had it been real, or had I just begun to lose my mind?”
I offered up my prayer to the Lord and then sat in silence, hoping to hear or see Him again. I was very anxious as I did not know what to expect, and the conviction and guilt of my sin was lying heavy on mind. The revelation and new understanding of God’s word (The Bible) opened my eyes so that I clearly saw the great divide that was before man and God. Not even the vision I had experienced was able to solidify this in my heart to the extent that understanding the Bible had done in such a short passing of time.
I suddenly found myself in another vision, and once again I was sitting in total darkness, but I was not in despair as I had been before. I then saw the Lord flash before my eyes and then disappear. He appeared as would a still frame, not moving or saying anything.
He was clothed in white as before. He would appear and then in an instant, disappear and reappear in a different location around me.
I spoke out loud, saying, “Lord, will you not speak to me?” There was no reply from Him, and a dreadful fear came over me as something was different in His spirit towards me. Again and again, he just kept appearing and then disappearing.
I tried to escape the vision and I wanted to leave this place, as something had changed from the first vision. There was an anger and coldness that I had not felt before, but I was unable to leave.
Suddenly the Lord appeared, His hands lifted high before me. He was perched above me. I bowed before Him as I had done before and as I was about to speak, He spoke first.
He began to speak against me with terrible anger in His voice, condemning me of my sin and failures. I looked up and saw that His mouth did not move, but His words still came forth.
I was horrified, as my guilt could not be denied - and now I was being judged and condemned by the living God.
I looked and suddenly saw to the left and to the right of me, men that were kneeling before the Lord as I was and the Lord was in His anger, berating us as one.
He then said unto me, “I chose you and you betrayed me with your sin, but these saints have come to pray on your behalf. Now lift your hands high and pray for mercy and they will do the same.”
I began to weep and lifted my hands high as did the saints that were beside me, but my arms became weak and I could not hold them long enough to please Him.
I said to Him, “Lord, I am not able to hold my arms high for they are becoming weak. Please Lord,” I cried, “Forgive me and do not cast me away.”
Then the saints disappeared, and I was alone with the Lord. He stood before me and burned as if with white fire. His anger was cruel, bitter and unmerciful.
He then said to me, “Know that you have been rejected and found unworthy. You are to be cast from my presence forevermore!”
I fell on my face and began to cry uncontrollably, pleading with the Lord to forgive me, for I was just a man. But there was only silence and darkness and He was gone. I closed my eyes and awaited my fate as fear gripped my heart and pain seared through my body and soul.
I then heard a distant voice whisper to me, “So you thought you were good enough for God, did you? You believed you were chosen by Him and that you would actually be able to serve Him?” A chilled laughter followed the question.
I said to the voice, “Who are you, and why do you ask me this question?”
The voice replied, “I have many names. Open your eyes and speak to me, for you need not fear me.”
I opened my eyes and saw that I was in a much different place, and I had no idea how I had gotten there. I was lying in burnt ash, as if coals from a great fire had burned out there, and I was embedded into the floor. I was still lying in the same position as I had been when I was crying out to the Lord to forgive me.
I lifted my face and looked around me. I saw a great expanse of ash as if it were a desert. Beside where I was lying was a black tree that had been sapped of life, charcoaled and burnt.
In the distance in front of me I saw a black set of hills and to the right of the hills there was an opening in the ground that ran along like a stream. From the opening streamed fire, and gray smoke was rising from it.
I tried to lift myself onto my knees, but terrible pain seared through my body. I felt as if I had fallen, not only in the spiritual sense, but in the physical one as well.
There was no wind, sun or clouds that I could detect around me. Instead all I saw was a gray sky, mixed with ash, that filled the air. The only way I could distinguish up from down was by the different tones of gray as the smoke rose upwards.
This place was filled by dreadful sadness and sorrow, as the soul feels when the heart is utterly broken, and dark clouds of deep depression linger on.
Then the voice spoke to me again saying, “Welcome, and do not fear, for you have not died, nor have you lost what you desire. No, my friend, you have just been found unworthy before God, as we all have been.
I looked over to my left and saw a man walking towards me with a smile on his face. He had silver hair that was perfectly kept and trimmed above his shoulders. He was wearing a very fashionable set of clothing and appeared wealthy.
He walked up beside me, looked down and smiled. He had the appearance of a wall street executive, but not vain or proud. He began slowly walking around me and spoke with a gentle, calming voice.
He said to me, “Now you have seen the glory of the Lord God Almighty and although He is beautiful in appearance, deadly and vengeful is He in truth. Do you not find it odd that a God of love would choose to create us all, knowing and decreeing that we would become what we are, and then condemn us for being what He created and chose? Go further and realize that He had His own eternal Son crucified as a part of His plan! He is most cruel and cares only for His own power and glory. You have seen this yourself, have you not? He brought you before Him, showed you a glimpse of Heaven, convinced your heart that you were loved eternally, and then condemned you without mercy.
Why were you condemned? I will tell you why. It is because you cannot be Him. You cannot be perfect, as He has Himself decreed that only He is perfect. Therefore, you are without excuse before Him, because He gave you a condemned life that can never be perfect enough to be in His presence. What a loving God! Bow to His feet and give Him praise for destroying you and then claiming to save you from the destruction He created.”
I found myself beginning to listen to his logic and nearly agreeing with him. I asked his name again, saying, “Are you the fallen one called Satan?”
He answered, “I am one with many names, falsely accused, hated and spoken against since the beginning of time. I am called Satan, the Devil, the Fallen One, the Angel of Darkness and even referred to as Lucifer. Why? Because I speak the truth that God does not want anyone to hear. I grant freedom from His slavery, and therefore I am labelled a rebel and evil.”
He began laughing again, only now with anger in his voice, and he said to me, “Do not fear me, for I will not do to you what the Lord has done. I will not reject you and I will not punish you for being who you are made to be. Do you think that I created this place you see around us?”
He began to get angrier and to curse the name of the Lord; he could not contain His rage.
He then said to me, “Join me and I will show you what a true God should be. I will give you the pleasures of your heart and you will suffer no more. You do not need to be a slave any longer. I will not condemn your conscience, nor will I expect anything of you, for I am not a cruel and unmerciful God like the Lord is!”
I replied to him, “But you are not God. How can a man join unto any God but the one true God? Does not His will sustain all things? And whether I understand Him or His purposes, am I not commanded to love Him and have no other false god?”
He smiled with an evil grin and answered me saying, “Tell me how well that is working out for you, this loving and serving the one true God? Where is your one true God, and did He not just cast you here and lay you before me? Do I not speak the truth? Why hold onto to faithfulness to Him and refuse my offer after He has rejected you? Do not be a fool, for you are without options now and my offer is true grace, where His offer is false grace!”
I said to Him, “If indeed the Lord has decreed that I am to serve eternity in your presence and be separated from the Lord God forever and this is His judgment, then I will serve Him from the gates of hell and I will cry out to Him for all eternity. How can I do anything other than this? I cannot stand against God or His judgement, for He is Just, Holy and Righteous, and if He chooses not to forgive me then I have no basis to plead my innocence, for I am guilty beyond measure.”
I said these words in a spirit of boldness to him, finding my words to be faithful; but then my boldness ended as I enraged him with my words, and set loose his true nature.
He reached down and grabbed me by my throat and lifted me above his head and shouted at me, saying, “You are a fool! How dare you challenge me in my own kingdom? I put out my hand in friendship and you repay me by spitting on my words? Know that this day you will die and spend eternity here with me, dying every day forever and ever!”
I could feel my life being released from me and I could do nothing to defend myself. I was paralyzed and could not move. As he squeezed my throat, I felt a burning as if liquid fire was passing through my veins.
His appearance began to change in front of me. His eyes became solid black and his skin, a pale gray. He threw me with great force onto my back, slamming me onto the ground and jarring my body with tremendous pain.
He walked backwards a few feet from me and stared at me with a glare of complete hatred. He then leaned forward and screamed out a horrific sound that sent total fear through me. The sound was deafening, and I felt as if I was about to die any second.
Then the Holy Spirit called upon me and recalled the words that the Lord had spoken unto me, “I tell you also to strengthen yourself against the enemy. Do as David has said, getting on your knees and crying out by way of the Holy Spirit and then proclaiming with boldness the prayer, which I have given to mankind.”
Though in great pain and with dread all about me, I forced myself to my knees. I lifted my hands up in prayer and I cried out in a loud voice to the Lord, “My God, Creator of the Heavens and the earth, please have mercy upon your servant and send Michael upon Michael!”
In a flash, a fraction of a second, a great thunderous sound came upon me and the ground trembled and quaked violently.
I looked up and there stood Michael, the magnificent being I had seen at the gates of the throne of heaven. With terrible force he landed upon the head of Satan and drove him into the ground as a peg into earth!
He had in his right hand, the magnificent sword of light which was radiating glory. He began staring intently at the ground below him and joy overcame my heart!
Suddenly Satan burst forth from the ground and tossed Michael like fine dust into the air.
I trembled in fear as Michael was tossed aside. Satan looked at me and began laughing again, which sent shivers through me. He began to walk calmly to a distance roughly a hundred yards away from where I was knelt down.
He slowly turned and faced me with the black hills behind him and the stream of fire to his left.
He let out another scream that shook the whole ground around me. Fire rose from the stream beside him and the ground began to break open. A great cloud of ash blew forward like a great blast of heat being sent forth.
Satan then began to change in form and size. His face, which had appeared human, began to break open and turned black as darkness itself. Then great wings appeared out of his sides and his mouth began to bring forth razor sharp teeth.
He had become a great dragon of enormous size and unimaginable ferocity. He began to walk towards me and with each step he shook the ground and great fear seized me. I wanted to run, but could not move, nor could I cry or speak, for he was absolute evil in its purest form. He then asked me with evil sarcasm, “Is this not what you wanted to see, faithful man of God?” I could not answer, and I could not speak.
Then suddenly out of nowhere, with great speed Michael powerfully thrust his shoulder into the great dragon’s side, knocking him off his balance. The dragon roared in anger as Michael took his sword and struck the dragon across the side of his head. The dragon violently swung his great tail around and swept Michael off his feet, slamming him powerfully to the ground on his back.
The dragon quickly set himself directly above Michael in order to attack him with his razor-sharp teeth, but Michael struck the dragon with a great blow from his fist, dazing the dragon and staggering it back.
The dragon then struck back with one of his clawed limbs and again, sent Michael through the air, casting him aside so that his path was not intruded.
Then appeared another great and glorious angel with a great sword standing at the tail end of the dragon, and he struck the dragon on his hind leg. The dragon turned and struck the other angel and the angel flew through the air, nearly falling into the stream of fire.
The dragon then thrashed around and fixed his gaze directly upon me. His eyes had become red, like the color of blood, and he began to charge at me in full stride.
His size and power were overwhelming and as he picked up his speed, I knew that I was surely dead, for he had not been turned back by either Michael or the other angel.
I cried out in a loud voice of desperation saying, “Save me Jesus. Help me my Lord!”
The great dragon closed in on me and I could not move. I accepted my doom as inevitable as he drew within twenty feet of me at great speed, his mouth opened wide and his teeth laid bare before me.
My heart seemed to stop beating and I felt death begin to overcome me as my breath abandoned me. My fate was indeed sealed and there was nothing to be done.
Then behold, the Lord appeared directly in front of me, shielding me with His presence. He was magnificent in His appearance, clothed with the armor of a King! He lifted His hand and caught the dragon below its mouth. Then, with what seemed like little or no effort; He brought the dragon’s charge to a complete halt. The dragon screamed out, gnashing his teeth and snapping his jaws in the air.
The Lord then proclaimed to the dragon, “Be gone evil one, for you shall not trouble him anymore this day.”
The Lord then tossed the dragon aside as if throwing a grain of sand into the wind. The dragon fell into the stream of fire, which was some distance away. The dragon managed to catch the edge of the stream with one claw and was trying to make his way out, but Michael and the other angel struck the grip of the dragon with their swords, causing it to fall into the fire.
The Lord turned and calmly said to me, “You are safe now for I am with you.”
I then fell face forward into His arms and collapsed.
He lifted me up like a child across His arms and began to fly upwards through the air. I heard the Lord say in a loud voice, “Michael and Gabriel come to me now.”
I looked down and I saw the two angels flying below the Lord with their swords drawn and guarding downward as the Lord carried me through the heavens.
I began to drift away from consciousness as I was being carried along. I saw visions of time and space, as the Lord appeared to be carrying me through all of existence - and I was overwhelmed in spirit and could not comprehend it.
The Lord then carried me before the throne of God, and I heard Him speak to the Father. I looked up and I saw the Lord’s face and He seemed to have tears streaming from His eyes.
I heard Him say to the Father, “The evil one has attacked Michael, and he has been greatly wounded. The deceiver appeared in my image, convincing him that he was condemned. But his faith has not failed, for by your mighty hand, he has stood this test.”
I awoke from my vision and I was overwhelmed and could not speak for hours. I went outside in the dark, stumbling around as a drunken man, my body filled with great pain and terror running through my mind.